aliens vs predators vs chuck norris
by CaptainCeaser
Summary: The ultimate battle! read the top of the story plz! i just wrote this for fun. I may change the story from time to time. over 50 hits already?
1. Chapter 1

I do not own aliens vs predator. I do not own Chuck Norris, he owns me! And you! By the way, it is recommended to watch the movie first. And half the story is not even part of plot.

**THIS STORY IS NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! GO AHEAD AND FLAME, LOVE, COMMENT, SPAM! I JUST WROTE THE STORY FOR FUN! NOTHING MORE!**

One day a satellite company found an ancient building underground in Antarctica. So unaware of what dangers are ahead of them, decided to round up random explorers to go with them. After getting Miley Cirus, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mr.T, Bruce Willis, masterchief, and other explorers and celebrities, they were afraid to ask Chuck Norris to come. But they had to. Since no one wanted to ask, Arnold did because Chuck and him are friends. Arnold arrived at his academy unaware of his level 500,000,000 black belt graduation. After watching, he asked. Chuck Norris agreed to come as long as if Miley Sirus is not evolved(don't ask me). So the team had to ask Miley to leave. So now they headed on to leave on the boat. But on the way, some pirates tried to hijack the boat, but when they saw Chuck standing there, they instantly committed suicide by shooting there self then drowning themselves. So they now arrived at Antarctica. They moved to an abandon camp. Chuck Norris remembered that he was the one that destroyed the camp... sleepwalking. The others were confused that he remembered what he did in his sleepwalk. But they came to their senses that he was Chuck Norris and probably scared his subconscious mind to remember. Anyways, one of the men decided to walk into a building, disobeying the rules. He heard some noise, and yelled. Chuck Norris round house kicked the man out of the roof. He landed on the snow and learned his lesson. Chuck walked over where the men were struggling to make a tunnel. He dismissed the men and chuck just stared at the ice. It instantly melted. Then MasterChief decided to go in first.

Meanwhile, the predators landed in Antarctica The aliens walked over to the camp. Just as the explorers went to the tunnel, the remaining men where to watch the camp. One of the men saw the figure and thought it was chuck Norris. And after looking at it, he realized the figure had a gun. And Chuck doesn't use a gun. The men braised themselves. The aliens cloaked them selves and snuck behind them not even bothering the men. And entered the tunnel.

The men were at the end of the tunnel. Mr. T set off a flare and chuck smashed it. He said he could just scare the darkness. Chuck looked at the faint building, and the darkness ran off and light took its place. They entered the building and Bruce stepped on a trap to release the alien queen. Chuck then felt a disturbance but thought it was just his stomach trying not to aggravate him. They moved to a building with human remains. Chuck said it wasn't him because he never went to this building before. Then suddenly the walls closed. Chuck said who ever built this building is mega smart because it's chuck Norris proof. Almost like whoever built this was waiting for this to happen. Just then ten small creatures were instantly released, aiming the chuck...

To be continued!

Chuck Norris said it will be continued. I wanted to leave off at an UN-epic cliffhanger, but I don't want to turn into a soda can so it must continue!

The aliens apparently were not afraid of him. Chuck mashed his thumb at the alien and it died. The other aliens where shot. The doors opened up.

The predators made it in the building and sinced the sacred one was here! Chuck Norris. They quickly ran to where there location was at but now actual aliens were there!

Meanwhile, the queen told its children to exterminate Chuck. The small aliens argued with the queen, then the queen promised to buy them Grand Theft Auto four and let them have a facebook. But first, they were ordered to get rid of the predators first.

The humans quickly reacted and tried to leave, but the exit was blocked with a battle between two aliens. Chuck walked fast to the aliens and then the predators and humans took cover. Chuck took one of the alien's tale and stabbed one of the aliens. He roundhouse kicked 3 aliens, and killed ten aliens with just one punch. Then all of the aliens were dead and so where the humans! Except for chief. Chuck looked carefully under his helmet and saw another chuck Norris. They both stared at each other and masterchief disappeared. Chuck then decided that he would have to nuke the building. So he took one of the men's happy meal from McDonalds and ate it. Then farted. Chuck safely walked out of the building. But the queen was waiting for him outside. The queen thought Chuck died but no. The queen ran into the fire for a faster death. And chuck Norris checked his pocket watch. His record for beating the tar out of aliens was 30 minutes. This time it was 14 seconds. "Nice timing" he said to him self.

Homer Simpson woke up in bed and looked around. And then checked his sheets.

"Marge.." he said faintly. "Yes, homer?" Marge responded.

"I had that chuck Norris dream again!" He said frightened. Marge walked into the room. She sighed. "I'll wash the sheets" She said. "All a dream..." Homer said revealed

"No..., its not" Chuck Norris responded. "Wait a minute..."

Peter Griffin woke up in his bed and checked his sheets.

"Aw, crap"

End!

Note: this ending is Chuck approved!

And if I get enough positive reviews, I'll make one based on the sequel!


	2. plz read

Just wanted to get something straight...

I do not own any show or place mentioned in this story!

The chapter before this is not how I really write in much more serious stories. Thats all.


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